Am I Insane????

I have been having an inner battle lately regarding homeschooling philosophy. As I dutifully stick to my lesson plans, I am feeling the draw to just let it all go and unschool. Then I start to wonder if I have totally lost my mind for considering such a thing.

I am NOT a unschooler. The thought terrifies me. Yet, I can not deny that Kyllian is very motivated to learn ONLY those things that he is interested in. If he isn't interested in it, there is no amount of coaxing, discussion or bribery that will make him learn it. Drake will do the work I give him but he would prefer to self teach.

I don't know that I can unschool without becoming a complete neurotic mess. BTDT!!!

I have come a long way in recent years learning to balance (there's that word again!) my need for order and structure. I have my structure in place but I am okay with things changing. I can accept that we may not keep to our schedule. I don't mind spotaneous activities poping up. We will drop everything and go to the park and I don't mind reshuffling the schedule. But I do still always come back to the schedule.

Everytime I inch away from that schedule we (I) end up coming back to it and feeling more bound to it.

Yet, I look at what Kyllian taught himself last year and I am amazed. He taught himself to read. He did it. I can take no credit for it. It was all him. I don't even know when he started reading. He was just reading one day. And I am not talking Dick and Jane reading. The day I realized he was reading was the day he was reading the ingredients off the back of my protein powder jar in the car. I suppose if he can read the word 'phosphorus' then I don't really need to worry about phonics! And he did all of this during the time when he was between dianosises and treatments. What will he manage to teach himself NOW!!!?

I have been having this delima since I wrote our "Mission Statement". (Thanks MDC!) The fourth statement is my hangup!

to not be bound to any specific method or educational ideal; instead, facilitating the achievement of these things in the manor in which is best for the individual child.

I whole heartily agree with it but I have difficulty balancing it with my need for structure!

Oh, and Carey before you ask, NO! You are not allowed to comment!! LOL