Giggle....

Religion vs Spirituality

How do I get myself into these arguments??? I must attract the religious crazies. Is that a good thing or bad thing??? So here is the gist of the "discussion" I had with someone a bit ago.

Religious Crazy (RC): Well, if you don't believe in God then what religion do you practice?

Me: I am a member of our local UU congregation and consider myself a UU but that doesn't define my beliefs. I prefer to refer to my beliefs as spirituality instead of religion. I don't really like "religion".

RC: I'm confused? Your beliefs ARE your religion. It is the same thing as spirituality. How can you have one without the other?

Me: Easy, they are NOT the same thing!

RC: Yes they are.

Me: They might be for you, but for me they hold distinct differences and I would prefer to never "practice" a religion. I prefer to develop my spirituality.

The conversation came to a screeching halt as the RC spent the next hour scratching her head trying to understand what I was saying. The response I finally got was...

RC: I don't really understand what you are saying but I will be praying for you!!

Oh yippie!! (Actually I do believe in the power of prayer mainly because it almost always is positive in nature and I believe in the power of positive thinking.)

So for all you religious crazies out there, and the regular crazies too, let me elaborate on the topic of religion vs. spirituality...

Religion and spirituality are totally different animals! They are often billed as the same thing. That isn’t the case and they are not dependent on one another. One can be spiritual and not have any affiliation with religion and one can be a devout follower of religion but have no spirituality of which to speak. The problem with religion is that people depend too heavily on it. People buy into the dogma and never really examine what it means, why it exists or how it relates to the World around them. This is where people miss out on spirituality. Religion is easy, spirituality takes work.

Religion requires us to follow as set of rules that were written by someone else. Religion tells us these rules are right because the ‘supreme being of choice’ said so. Religion tells us that there is no need for us to examine their validity because that has been done for us. As long as we follow the rules religion has set forth, then we are free of condemnation for the results of our actions.

Spirituality, on the other hand, requires us to get in touch with our World, cultivate our knowledge, enlighten ourselves and develop our own rules. Spirituality then holds us responsible for how the rules we developed affect the World. Spirituality does not tell us if our rules are correct. That is for us to discover. Spirituality encourages us to continually evaluate our rules and change them if they need adjusting. Spirituality is an ongoing experience, nothing is set in stone. Spirituality requires us to do the work for ourselves. It requires us to think.

Religion eliminates the need for us to get in touch with our governing energy, be it called God, Goddess, Spirit, Creator, etc. Religion provides us with "trained and educated clergy" whose job it is to get in touch with the governing energy and help the lay people to understand. Spirituality requires each of us to shut up and listen to what our specific governing energy is trying to tell us. Religion has caused us to loose touch with the energies that are there to help guide us while we develop our rule book.

After all, the rule book is already written for religion. Spirituality just provides us with blank paper, a pencil and a bottle of white-out because, while religion feels it is infallible, spirituality understands that the search for the correct set of rules is a never ending journey that is bound to takes us on a few wrong turns in the process.

Vision Boards

Sorry folks, you are on your own this year. I decided to do my Vision Board digitally this year. A late night bout of insomnia and spark of creativity helped with that decision.

After that I printed it on some shrinky dink paper I have for the ink jet. They turned out awesome. I don't know what I will do with them yet. I may make the smallest one into a necklace.

It's Vision Board Time Again

I do a Vision Board twice a year, Fall and Spring. Well, guess what, based on the fact that I had to pull out a jacket today, it is Fall! Samhain is also just around the corner, which is usually how I schedule the Vision Board construction date!!

I am still working on when I am going to find the time to do it this year but keep watch and I will post the date soon. I am leaning towards Tuesday the 4th or Tuesday the 11th.

It's Vocabulary Lesson Time

Now listen up class and pay attention. Today we are going to learn a very important word!!!

secu·lar (sek′yə lər)

adjective

1. of or relating to worldly things as distinguished from things relating to church and religion; not sacred or religious; temporal; worldly

Now that isn't so hard is it?? Evidently it is!

"Distinguished from things relating to church or religion". Secular does not mean we tolerate all kinds of religious ramblings. It means that we don't tolerate ANY kind of religious rambling. I don't preach to you about my gods. Don't preach to me about your God! And for Goddess sake, don't do it in an openly secular forum!!!

Okay, rant over. Thanks for playing!

Don't assume I share your prejudices!!

One of my favorite bumperstickers!! (Of course if you have seen my fridge then you know I have a lot of favorites, LOL.)

I had the joy of dealing with one of those people we all love. You know, the one that assumes that because you homeschool you must be a militant right wing conservative! If you know me, I am just about as opposite as you can get. I do understand the stereotyping that goes with homeschooling. Even in 2008, half the people we run into assume we are Christian. (My husband's name is Kristian. Does that count? Of course, he is a militant atheist! And of course there is the S-word. But that deserves it's own post.)

Being that it is election time, the prejudicial emails are a-flying. Seriously, if I get one more Pro-Life, Anti-Gay Marriage, Traditional Family Value totin' e-mail I might just loose it!!! Actually I did, sort of, today. This one individual, who hopefully doesn't read my blog, is constantly sending me emails that, quite frankly, are offensive.

Today was the last straw; I politely asked to be removed from said person's address book so I would no longer receive any more of these e-mails. The response I received went something like this...."I thought you would like to be kept abreast of the threats to the very way of life people like you and me hold dear." (I have actually corrected for grammar!!)

Don't assume I share your prejudices!!

Just don't! Seriously, it will make things a whole lot less embarrassing for you at some point!!! The particular e-mail that prompted my request was related to gay marriage. How on Earth does legalizing gay marriage effect the 'very way of life I hold dear'? Can someone please explain to me how this works? I still don't get it!!

All because I am on a homeschooling e-mail list. Which, ironically enough, is a secular list??????????????????????????????????????????????????????

How much longer until the election is over???

FTR, I was very nice in my follow up e-mail but there was definitely no question as to where I stood on the subject!

Feel Good Emotions

People say that there are good and bad emotions. For me, emotions are just emotions. It is want you do with those emotions, how you allow them to affect you and how they direct your actions that count. Those emotions that have been deemed “bad” have gotten a bum wrap. Is anger really all that bad? There are plenty of things to be angry about in this world. Is guilt really all that bad? If you are guilty doesn’t that tell you something? Is fear really all that bad? Doesn’t fear have a usefulness?

People constantly try to push away or ignore those emotions that they view as “bad”. I think the reaction to an emotion is far more important. Being angry at someone, in and of itself, is not bad. That person did something to elicit the emotion you are feeling. Ignoring the emotion or pretending it is something it is not is denying yourself of the full potential of the experience. It is denying yourself of the full potential for personal growth. It is the way you channel that feeling that is good or bad. The feeling, itself, is neutral.

For an example from a recent blog post…I became so angered at someone that I literally threw something at them. (It was just in their direction!). It was not the best way to handle the situation. There were many other options. I allowed my emotion of anger to elicit a bad action. This response to my anger is what is bad. The anger, itself, is neutral. On the flip side, if I am angered by some social injustice and I take part in an effort to correct it, I am reacting to my anger in a good way. The anger, itself, is still neutral.

If I feel guilty for something I did, the guilt is just another feeling. It is how I act on that guilt that is good or bad. Am I going to continue to do whatever it is that created the emotion of guilt? Not recognizing guilt and not being open to what guilt is trying to tell you is bad. The guilt, itself, is neutral. Am I going to try to make the situation right? Am I going to make it a point to never do it again? Understanding what guilt is trying to tell you and learning from the experience is good. The guilt, itself, is still neutral.

Fear is an interesting emotion.In many cases we do not even understand the nature of the emotion yet it is so strong that is can overwhelm us. I am terrified of tight spaces. Don’t care for elevators and have to be sedated for an MRI. (I don’t care how “open” the darn thing is!!) I also don’t feel comfortable in large crowds. I can not deny that I have this fear. I have no rational reason for it; it is just there! However my fear is not “bad”. It is just an emotion. It is how I allow my fear to affect my life that is important. Am I going to miss the once in a lifetime concert because I am fearful of crowds? Am I going to miss out on a great experience because I am fearful of tight spaces? Allowing fear to deny you of experience is bad. The fear, itself, is neutral. Yet, fear can also help make you aware of dangerous situations and help you be cautious when caution is prudent. The fear, itself, is still neutral.

For contrast, let’s look at am emotion that is generally deemed “good”. What about happiness? Can happiness ever be “bad”? Happiness can sometimes have a very blinding effect on people. Take this theoretical example, a woman has just found out she is pregnant. She is ecstatic. She could not be happier. It is all she can think about and all she can talk about. Unfortunately, she has been blinded by her happiness and forgets that her friend’s son just died. The upset her happiness has caused her to, unintentionally, inflict on her friend is bad. Happiness, itself, is neutral.

So to categorize emotions as good and bad is pointless. Instead we should focus on what those emotions make us do or say. Be more aware of the result of your emotions. How do those emotions effect your decisions? How do they effect your actions? What choices do you make because of them? What lessons do you learn from them? You might be amazed at how different your outlook is once you accept your emotions and examine the effect they have on the whole.

The Painful Process!

As usual, Tom has a horrible sense of time! LOL We were supposed to start at 10:30; it was 1:00 before we started. It was supposed to take around 4 hours; it took 6. Regardless I am MORE THAN thrilled with it.

Here is the stencil before any work was done.







Working on the first wing!








Finishing up the last wing!









Almost done!








Here is a slide show of more pics!

Can you hear me now?

The Universe that is.

Can you hear the Universe when She speaks? The strange gust of wind, that image that you see over and over again, running into someone too many times, that random event that keeps happening, the string of coincidences that are just too uncanny...

I really feel that the Universe can guide us through life and helps us with decisions if only we are able to clear our minds and open ourselves up so we can hear Her message.

I have found the Universe very talkative lately. Seriously, She won't shut up!!! LOL Don't get me wrong. I am not complaining. I am, however, having a hard time figuring out what She wants me to do with what She is telling me.

Take for instance, my mother showing up at my door. This was about as freaky random as you get. I mean, this is a woman that doesn't feel me or my children are worth the time of day. (I actually think she likes K more than me!) Yet, here she is making an effort, or at least appearing to. Is it wishful thinking on my part (doubtful), my annoying habit of giving EVERYONE the benefit of the doubt (perhaps) or was it the Universe telling me it is time to try again???

I'll be honest, I don't want to try again. I am almost 35 years old. I tried for so long.

So here is my dilemma, Is the Universe trying to tell me that I need to try again? And if She is, WHY???? I try not to question the Universe but....

We are completely different people. We share nothing, except blood, in common. That should be enough but I really don't think it is in this case.

I think I am going to need the Universe's equivalent of a brick up side the head on this one!

FTR, this not the only thing the Universe has been chatting with me about lately. Did I mention She is very talkative lately?

This is for you, T!

The difference between can and cannot are only three letters. Three letters that determine your life's direction.


Being positive or negative are habits of thoughts that have a very strong influence on life.


Positive and negative are directions. Which direction do you choose?


Positive thinking is expecting, talking and visualizing with certainty what you want to achieve, as an accomplished fact.


Riches, mediocrity and poverty begin in the mind.


Reality is the mirror of your thoughts. Choose well what you put in front of the mirror.


A positive attitude brings strength, energy and initiative.


To think negatively is like taking a weakening drug.


Positive thoughts are not enough. There have to be positive feelings and positive actions.


When you say, "I can't" and expect the worst, you become weak and unhappy.


When you say "I can", and expect success, you fill yourself with confidence and happiness.


You can close the windows and darken your room, and you can open the windows and let light in. It is a matter of choice. Your mind is your room. Do you darken it or do you fill it with light?


Positive thinking and negative thinking are attitudes. They are points of view, and show the way people handle their affairs.


Suppose you stand at a crossroads, one way leads to a desert and the other one to lush meadows, which way do you choose?


Clear thoughts produce produce clear results.


Positive thinking evokes more energy, more initiative and more happiness.


Train your mind to think in terms of 'possible' and 'can be done'.


When you have control over your thoughts, you have control over your life.


Happy thoughts attract happy people into your life.


Happy thoughts fill your life with happiness.


When you change your habitual thoughts, it is like changing the direction of a train.


Affirm the positive, visualize the positive and expect the positive, and your life will change accordingly.


When there are difficulties and you feel down, this is the time to visualize, think and expect the positive.


Do not let circumstances influence your thoughts and moods. By rising over them mentally, you will eventually rise over them materially.


Fill your mind with light, happiness, hope, feelings of security and strength, and soon your life will reflect these qualities.

My child is freaking me out!!!

I have been thinking about my grandmother a lot in the last two days. Memories of her will surface for no apparent reason, totally out of the blue. (I think it is because I have been working on my tattoo lately and the last part I added was in honor of her.)

This morning I woke up at 6am and couldn't go back to sleep because, among other things, I was thinking of her and how she affected my life.

Just now Kyllian started asking me questions about her and when she died!

The kid has a creepy way of knowing what I am feeling.

The Universe Did Not Prepare Me for THIS!

First, a little background for those that need it...

As a struggling college student, desperate for a job closer to campus, I applied to be a receptionist. (For those of you laughing at the thought of me begin a receptionist... Shut the heck up! LOL!!) During my interview, they noticed that I knew sign language. I was asked if I would consider taking a position as a support staff in one of their group homes. Turns out they had a client with Cerebral Palsy that could not speak. They really needed someone in the home to develop a sign vocabulary for her. I was very reluctant to take the position. It was not anything I ever considered doing. Afterall, I was an anthropology major. I was going to school to work with long dead things; not living, breathing, needy people. I was asked to give it two weeks. If I hated it, he would give me the receptionist job. (Shut up, Eileen!) The rest is history and I spent the next 8 years working and managing behavior health and developmentally disabled group homes in Arizona and Florida. I have seen every major mental illness, and some not so well known. I have a deep understanding of psychotropic pharmacology. I can write a behavior mod plan better than any psychiatrist.

So when Kyllian began to show signs of bi-polar I told myself that, if this was indeed the case, I knew how to handle it. I really felt that that weird twist of events that lead me to a field that I NEVER would have considered myself even remotely qualified for, and one I ended up embracing and loving, was the universe preparing me for the future.

When the Dx became "official" (It technically isn't official. He is too young for that.) I was not worried. I was not upset. I am a bit more pragmatic than that. I knew what it meant to have bi-polar. I have worked very closely with a number of people with bi-polar disorder. Believe me, there are far worse psychiatric illnesses! I thought, "I am prepared for this. I know what is coming. We will get this straightened out and everything will be fine."

Now I have decided the universe is getting back at me for being over confident!

Okay, I don't actually think the universe is conspiring against me but man it does feel like it some days.

The biggest difference in working in group homes and having a child with bi-polar is that in group homes you get time off. You work your 8, 10, 12 or 16 hour shift and then you go home, presumably to psychologically "normal" people. That is not the case when your are talking about your own child. I am his 24/7 care giver. Day in, day out, I am the one that deals with the roller coaster that is Kyllian's emotions, the extreme ADD, the anger outbursts and the oppositional fits. Now I am not saying K doesn't help. He does! But he doesn't get home until 7pm most nights. Kyllian goes NON-STOP from the time he wakes up until his medication knocks him out at night, especially when he is in a manic phase, which he almost always is.

Also don't mistake my little rant for me saying I wish Kyllian was any different. Kyllian is who Kyllian is supposed to be. I do believe he has a destiny that only he can fulfill. He is such a wonderful little boy. He has such an unusual outlook on the world. It is as if his soul is brand new, not tainted or biased by any past experiences. He knows no fear. (except spiders! ;) ) He accepts all people and views everyone as a friend until they prove otherwise. And even then he feels they deserve a second chance and sometimes a third or fourth. (Although at the same time, he has been known to hold quite the grudge!) He is painfully aware of everything around him. He notices details that I can only hope to notice. He remembers events and people with strong emotion, both good and bad. He can become completely lost in the world around him. And become very connected with the world as well, even though connecting with people is more difficult for him. In general, people have normal barriers that Kyllian can't even comprehend. If he has ever sat next to you, you will know that the concept of personal space is one of them!

It is precisely all of these wonderful characteristics that also makes living with Kyllian a very physically, mentally and emotionally draining experience at times. As you can tell by Thursday's blog post, we are in the midst of those times currently. I know it will pass and things will level out again but it is really hard to remember that at the top of a manic swing!

If you have managed to make it this far, I thank you!! So if I look like I have been beating my head against a wall lately, you know why! LOL If you see me wandering around Walmart aimlessly at midnight just so I can get out of the house (man I need a life! LOL), you know why. If you drop by at 4 in the afternoon and I am half way through the bottle of Merlot, you know why!

I was wrong! The universe most definitely did not prepare me for this.

Wow!

Lewis Black on Bush, the Bible and Evolution

Warning: It's Lewis Black so the language is not appropriate for little ears!

Past, Present or Future...Where do you live?

This was the topic of my very first Mosaic Covenant Group. It is an interesting topic. Everyone says "We should live in the present." "Focus on the moment." But I find great value in giving all three time frames equal attention.

The past is important to me because I can take things that happened in the past and learn from them. Do I want to do that again? That went horribly wrong, how could I have made it better? What can I do the next time that situation occurs to make things different? I will definitely not make that decision again!!! I think we can learn a great deal from the mistakes we make but it is important not to dwell on those mistakes. Recognize the mistake, analyze the mistake, learn the lesson it has to teach you and then move on. Of course let's not forget the good lessons from the past. The development of family traditions, the establishment of healthy habits, the friends we make. These are all ties to the past and it would definitely be sad to just forget them. Our past experiences help to define who we are today.

Being a mother and a homeschooler the future is something I think about often. We are always thinking about how the future will be and how the things we are doing now will affect the future. I will admit I don't think much about my own future but the future of the children is always on my mind. My goal is to provide them with as many opportunities and let them blaze their own path towards the future. I try very hard not to envision them as "grown ups" because I don't want MY vision of THEIR future to end up clouding or limiting THEIR vision of THEIR future. I try to keep my thoughts of the future in very broad, abstract terms.

But life being what it is, we live each day as it comes. Yes we have a plan but we aren't bound by it and if an opportunity presents itself we are going to take it. If we are tired we are going to rest. If we are board we are going to do something else.